Sifting out the truth nuggets
In my quest to find a job as of late I’ve been looking at a lot of classified ad websites. I have to say I find a lot of humor on one site in particular, but I won’t say which one so as not to discredit it Craigslist.com.Anyways, I see certain ads that appear to be very straight forward, yet as I read them there are obvious nuggets of truth unintentionally planted between the lines. So what else was I to do except gather a gallery and translate them for? So without further ado, I present to you *ahem* drumroll please*
GetFuzzy’s Craiglist Ad Translations!!
*Note: Contact information, some pictures, posting IDs, any indicators of location, and post dates have been censored. Hey, I gotta maintain some level of professionalism here!
Party animal? I prefer the term festive mammal
Translation: Strippers wanted!!!
They don’t really need medical attention, right?
Translation: Yeah we are complete idiots who thought a pit bull would make us look ‘gangsta’, but she’s proven to be too much to handle since we didn’t do our research about the breed. She’s not vaccinated or spayed (even though she’s actually at the prime age for spaying) because we have no financial means to care for a dog. However, we want to make some money on her so we’re asking $35. She knows a lot of commands, especially NO! since we are telling it to her all the time.
Now we know where they come from!
Translation: Need telemarketers. Skills needed- ability to piss off people to no end, don’t take no for an answer, call people on the no call list and pretend you obtained their number legally, posess no sense of morals.
Ohhhh is that what success is?
Translation: Wanted! Someone who wouldn’t object to some shady business! We will most likely take your money and ruin your credit score. It’s a steal!!
And trust me, there are more stupid ads out there if you look hard enough…
*Disclaimer: This is purely for entertainment only. I don’t know any of the people who put up these ads, and I don’t have any more information about them or their pet/job/etc except for what I am showing you all. These translations may or may not be true (I suspect most of them are, just in my opinion).
